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Archive for the ‘Highly Sensitive People (HSP)’ Category

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In today’s world where there is so much tension of finances, jobs, household cleaning, maintaining relationships, maintaining a status, kids studies, balanced foods, exercising , relaxing and so many other issues that our minds are bombarded with. How many times in a day do you seriously have a feel of life’s simple pleasures? Why is it that those moments seem nothing yet we feel there is so much tension and work to be done in life. People like me who are analytical or the thinkers or the HSP find it so hard to merely exist in today’s world. Every single day is a struggle to survive and there are very few days where there is a sense of satisfaction of living and being alive. Why is it in today’s time when there is so much technology and growth in all fields we still feel that there is no peace, love and enjoyment and we drift more towards alcohol or drugs or else depression? Why is it that this temporary happiness seems the happy moments of life without realizing that slowly we are turning into alcoholics or drug addicts or constant sense of self worthlessness and that we feel there is no life without it?

There is so much happening in our lives that we hardly give credit to the amount of things we do in the day. A mere daily existence which includes innumerous tasks become null and void and then days at end they turn into monotonous household work or nothing. One of the main reasons for this is that we don’t respect and acknowledge the things we do in a day and we do same for other special members of the family and as a result we take everyone and everything for granted. We actually bury ourselves under the mere existence of life.

Since there is so much that seems like work we tend not to enjoy the small pleasures that life brings us. In this turmoil of life events we tend not to appreciate what we have and as a result develop a habit of complain or tantrum or cribbing or whatever name you want to give it. We get so addicted to it that sometimes small inner happiness seems nothing to us. We all have been told that the happiness is within us it’s because we look outside we feel things are missing and we are living in the world of deprivation rather than abundance. How , how are we to feel all this when are minds and hearts are clogged with tension, hate, jealousy and all the other emotions that we attach negative connotations to. We digress towards alcohol or spending time with people outside our family or circle and there are more and more of drugs and alcohol and extra marital affairs… why ?

The reason is simple we always want a little excitement in our lives and that we get from things outside of us as we ourselves are buried under the drama of life we have created ourselves or due to the society we live in. It is like a teenager living under peer pressure accepts things that are not good for him due to it.

So inorder to reduce this tension, drama and the buried grave of ourselves we need to thrive for things that give us small pleasures in life and learn the art of satisfaction without having to compete with society / anything or anybody ways of living or pressures. The art of knowing who we really are at the core which often we don’t know, we would have known what simple things we could do in our current situation that would make us feel complete or happy or fulfilled.

So let’s start with finding out who we are at core in this new Year and move forwards to a more satisfying life ahead. It’s high time for change. Work with me during this new year to go step by step all the way into creating the change and Re-Inventing Yourself.

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Some Beliefs Make Changing Habits More Difficult

It’s crucial to integrate the new methods that are being discussed in these  blogs into your daily routine. Reading these blogs without applying the new  concepts is like taking a boat across a river, but not getting out on the other  side.

The first step in changing habits is to investigate how your belief system  influences your behavior. When you were a child you were probably taught by your  parents, teachers, peers and the media that you can only be happy if you live a  stimulating life based on outer gratification such as making a lot of money,  finding the perfect mate and achieving success at work. Looking for happiness  and trying to obtain a feeling of self-worth only from outside stimuli can  create anxiety and tension for the reflective, sensitive person.

It’s vital to deeply examine your life goals as you begin to understand that  what you truly desire is inner-peace and that nothing in this constantly  changing world can really give you lasting contentment. Life is temporary and  everything will eventually leave you. You can’t take money, a partner or job  status with you when you leave your body, so begin to look inside to make the  necessary changes that will create inner-peace and happiness today.

Being Highly Sensitive And Changing Habits

You were probably told that there was something inherently wrong with you as  a child for being so sensitive. You may have internalized that false belief,  creating an addictive, self-fulfilling prophecy, subconsciously identifying with  emotional pain. Most self-defeating behavior is based on not loving  yourself.

I frequently encounter sensitive clients who have told me that it’s difficult  to let go of an untenable situation, even when it’s creating enormous pain in  their lives. There was a highly sensitive woman I counseled whose noisy upstairs  neighbors were literally driving her crazy, yet she would always make up an  excuse not to move. An HSP man told me that he worked for an abusive boss, yet  steadfastly refused to look for another job. Most people who remain in  emotionally destructive situations believe that they deserve to suffer due to  low self-esteem, which is based on the untruth that there is something wrong  with them.

Once you begin to understand the base of your belief system, you will be  aware of how your internalized beliefs influence your thought patterns. There is  a saying: “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action reap a habit; sow a  habit; reap a character.”

Practical Considerations About Changing Habits

When changing habits you need to be gentle with yourself and make the changes  slowly. For example, if you try to stop an overeating habit cold turkey by going  on a crash diet, you may end up eating the cold turkey and all the trimmings. If  you want to go to bed an hour earlier to obtain more sleep, try going to bed  just five minutes earlier each night so that in a few weeks, you will reach your  goal.

Once you have changed your consciousness by internalizing new positive  values, you will spontaneously make changes to create more inner-peace and joy  in your life. Also, It’s much easier to change habits when you are receiving  support from other people than trying to make the changes alone. Besides  enlisting support from your relatives, friends and co-workers, you can attend a  support group such as a 12-step program or individual counseling.

You need to use our will power to change habits. Make a list of the areas  that are causing you pain and use your volition to write down the new methods  that you will employ to alleviate any tension and unhappiness in your life. As  you begin having small victories in changing habits, your will power will be  strengthened. You can also increase your inner-strength through visualization,  and the use of affirmations. Make a resolution today that you will no longer  remain in any environment in which there is no hope for you to be happy.

Supportive Environments Are Critical For Changing Habits

However, since environment may be stronger than your will power to change,  you also need to remove yourself from situations that reinforce negative habits  and low self-esteem. Your home and work environment are the most important  factors that determine your ability to create a peaceful life, so it’s  imperative that you create a harmonious work and home atmosphere. If you know  that a certain environment creates anxiety, either try to change the unhealthy,  over-stimulating situation or remove yourself from the source of tension.

I have noticed that you can generally replace a bad habit with a good one in  just six months. One HSP client, Felicia, told me that when she began  meditating, after several months that practice became a part of her life, just  like brushing her teeth when she awoke. Felicia said that if she is unable to  meditate in the morning, she doesn’t feel centered until she experiences at  least ten minutes of deep relaxation. She noticed that when she’s feeling calm,  little daily annoyances become less significant. Once you become focused on  establishing peace of mind, you won’t have to give others a piece of your  mind.

Finally, you need to create new, satisfying and nurturing activities to  replace the old habits. For example, if you decide to watch less overstimulating  TV and DVDs and spend less time being bombarded by stimuli on the Internet, you  could begin reading calming, spiritually-uplifting books. This is a new year for  you and you don’t have to keep repeating old habits that don’t work for you  anymore as you gain new knowledge and understanding of yourself

Step By Step Roadmap: How to Change  Habits

1. Investigate your belief system and become aware when a habit creates  pain.

2. Be gentle with yourself by changing habits slowly.

3. Try to always be aware of the goal of developing a change of  consciousness.

4. Enlist the support of your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors; you may  want to meet with a counselor or join a support group.

5. Remove yourself from an environment that reinforces negative habits.

6. Realize that in only six months you can replace a bad habit with a good  one through daily practice.

7. Create new, satisfying and nurturing activities to replace the old  habits.

8. Use your will power to develop a structured program for yourself to help  make positive life-style changes.

9. Write down and implement the changes that you want to make as you read  these blogs

Acknowledgements : http://www.hsphealth.com/blog/2013/01/changing-habits/#ixzz2HNCEKgJe

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Today I want to update all those who are not aware of this term of Highly Sensitive People. It has been found that 20% of people are found to be in this particular category and have been mis – labelled as shy/ introvert / timid.

A term originally coined by Elaine Aron, PhD stating that one in every five people is a HSP.

A Highly sensitive person is a person whose nervous system is uncommonly sensitive and are very aware of subtleties in the environment like sounds, light, aromas etc. It is a trait that can be an asset, used carefully, not a flaw or a syndrome.

Are you and HSP ? Read below some of the traits as defined by Elaine Aron :

  • Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
  • Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
  • Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
  • Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
  • Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
  • Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
  • Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
  • When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?
  • Very interesting is the fact that these Sensitive souls contribute a lot to art, creativity, music etc  as they are aware of the sensitiveness of things and that 30% of HSP are extroverts

    If you are a HSP come and share your experiences with me !!!

    Be Well

    Coach Nupur

    Further Reading : http://www.hsperson.com/pages/hsp.htm

    Test if you are an HSP : http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm

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