The Struggle

In today’s world where there is so much tension of finances, jobs, household cleaning, maintaining relationships, maintaining a status, kids studies, balanced foods, exercising , relaxing and so many other issues that our minds are bombarded with. How many times in a day do you seriously have a feel of life’s simple pleasures? Why is it that those moments seem nothing yet we feel there is so much tension and work to be done in life. People like me who are analytical or the thinkers or the HSP find it so hard to merely exist in today’s world. Every single day is a struggle to survive and there are very few days where there is a sense of satisfaction of living and being alive. Why is it in today’s time when there is so much technology and growth in all fields we still feel that there is no peace, love and enjoyment and we drift more towards alcohol or drugs or else depression? Why is it that this temporary happiness seems the happy moments of life without realizing that slowly we are turning into alcoholics or drug addicts or constant sense of self worthlessness and that we feel there is no life without it?

There is so much happening in our lives that we hardly give credit to the amount of things we do in the day. A mere daily existence which includes innumerous tasks become null and void and then days at end they turn into monotonous household work or nothing. One of the main reasons for this is that we don’t respect and acknowledge the things we do in a day and we do same for other special members of the family and as a result we take everyone and everything for granted. We actually bury ourselves under the mere existence of life.

Since there is so much that seems like work we tend not to enjoy the small pleasures that life brings us. In this turmoil of life events we tend not to appreciate what we have and as a result develop a habit of complain or tantrum or cribbing or whatever name you want to give it. We get so addicted to it that sometimes small inner happiness seems nothing to us. We all have been told that the happiness is within us it’s because we look outside we feel things are missing and we are living in the world of deprivation rather than abundance. How , how are we to feel all this when are minds and hearts are clogged with tension, hate, jealousy and all the other emotions that we attach negative connotations to. We digress towards alcohol or spending time with people outside our family or circle and there are more and more of drugs and alcohol and extra marital affairs… why ?

The reason is simple we always want a little excitement in our lives and that we get from things outside of us as we ourselves are buried under the drama of life we have created ourselves or due to the society we live in. It is like a teenager living under peer pressure accepts things that are not good for him due to it.

So inorder to reduce this tension, drama and the buried grave of ourselves we need to thrive for things that give us small pleasures in life and learn the art of satisfaction without having to compete with society / anything or anybody ways of living or pressures. The art of knowing who we really are at the core which often we don’t know, we would have known what simple things we could do in our current situation that would make us feel complete or happy or fulfilled.

So let’s start with finding out who we are at core in this new Year and move forwards to a more satisfying life ahead. It’s high time for change. Work with me during this new year to go step by step all the way into creating the change and Re-Inventing Yourself.

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Changing Habits

Some Beliefs Make Changing Habits More Difficult

It’s crucial to integrate the new methods that are being discussed in these  blogs into your daily routine. Reading these blogs without applying the new  concepts is like taking a boat across a river, but not getting out on the other  side.

The first step in changing habits is to investigate how your belief system  influences your behavior. When you were a child you were probably taught by your  parents, teachers, peers and the media that you can only be happy if you live a  stimulating life based on outer gratification such as making a lot of money,  finding the perfect mate and achieving success at work. Looking for happiness  and trying to obtain a feeling of self-worth only from outside stimuli can  create anxiety and tension for the reflective, sensitive person.

It’s vital to deeply examine your life goals as you begin to understand that  what you truly desire is inner-peace and that nothing in this constantly  changing world can really give you lasting contentment. Life is temporary and  everything will eventually leave you. You can’t take money, a partner or job  status with you when you leave your body, so begin to look inside to make the  necessary changes that will create inner-peace and happiness today.

Being Highly Sensitive And Changing Habits

You were probably told that there was something inherently wrong with you as  a child for being so sensitive. You may have internalized that false belief,  creating an addictive, self-fulfilling prophecy, subconsciously identifying with  emotional pain. Most self-defeating behavior is based on not loving  yourself.

I frequently encounter sensitive clients who have told me that it’s difficult  to let go of an untenable situation, even when it’s creating enormous pain in  their lives. There was a highly sensitive woman I counseled whose noisy upstairs  neighbors were literally driving her crazy, yet she would always make up an  excuse not to move. An HSP man told me that he worked for an abusive boss, yet  steadfastly refused to look for another job. Most people who remain in  emotionally destructive situations believe that they deserve to suffer due to  low self-esteem, which is based on the untruth that there is something wrong  with them.

Once you begin to understand the base of your belief system, you will be  aware of how your internalized beliefs influence your thought patterns. There is  a saying: “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action reap a habit; sow a  habit; reap a character.”

Practical Considerations About Changing Habits

When changing habits you need to be gentle with yourself and make the changes  slowly. For example, if you try to stop an overeating habit cold turkey by going  on a crash diet, you may end up eating the cold turkey and all the trimmings. If  you want to go to bed an hour earlier to obtain more sleep, try going to bed  just five minutes earlier each night so that in a few weeks, you will reach your  goal.

Once you have changed your consciousness by internalizing new positive  values, you will spontaneously make changes to create more inner-peace and joy  in your life. Also, It’s much easier to change habits when you are receiving  support from other people than trying to make the changes alone. Besides  enlisting support from your relatives, friends and co-workers, you can attend a  support group such as a 12-step program or individual counseling.

You need to use our will power to change habits. Make a list of the areas  that are causing you pain and use your volition to write down the new methods  that you will employ to alleviate any tension and unhappiness in your life. As  you begin having small victories in changing habits, your will power will be  strengthened. You can also increase your inner-strength through visualization,  and the use of affirmations. Make a resolution today that you will no longer  remain in any environment in which there is no hope for you to be happy.

Supportive Environments Are Critical For Changing Habits

However, since environment may be stronger than your will power to change,  you also need to remove yourself from situations that reinforce negative habits  and low self-esteem. Your home and work environment are the most important  factors that determine your ability to create a peaceful life, so it’s  imperative that you create a harmonious work and home atmosphere. If you know  that a certain environment creates anxiety, either try to change the unhealthy,  over-stimulating situation or remove yourself from the source of tension.

I have noticed that you can generally replace a bad habit with a good one in  just six months. One HSP client, Felicia, told me that when she began  meditating, after several months that practice became a part of her life, just  like brushing her teeth when she awoke. Felicia said that if she is unable to  meditate in the morning, she doesn’t feel centered until she experiences at  least ten minutes of deep relaxation. She noticed that when she’s feeling calm,  little daily annoyances become less significant. Once you become focused on  establishing peace of mind, you won’t have to give others a piece of your  mind.

Finally, you need to create new, satisfying and nurturing activities to  replace the old habits. For example, if you decide to watch less overstimulating  TV and DVDs and spend less time being bombarded by stimuli on the Internet, you  could begin reading calming, spiritually-uplifting books. This is a new year for  you and you don’t have to keep repeating old habits that don’t work for you  anymore as you gain new knowledge and understanding of yourself

Step By Step Roadmap: How to Change  Habits

1. Investigate your belief system and become aware when a habit creates  pain.

2. Be gentle with yourself by changing habits slowly.

3. Try to always be aware of the goal of developing a change of  consciousness.

4. Enlist the support of your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors; you may  want to meet with a counselor or join a support group.

5. Remove yourself from an environment that reinforces negative habits.

6. Realize that in only six months you can replace a bad habit with a good  one through daily practice.

7. Create new, satisfying and nurturing activities to replace the old  habits.

8. Use your will power to develop a structured program for yourself to help  make positive life-style changes.

9. Write down and implement the changes that you want to make as you read  these blogs

Acknowledgements : http://www.hsphealth.com/blog/2013/01/changing-habits/#ixzz2HNCEKgJe

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Creating S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Wishing you All a Very Happy New Year 2013

As we enter New Year its time to set New Goals filled with hope and dreams !

So let’s get going and set S.M.A.R.T. Goals !!!!

_________________________________________________________________________________________

S : Specific

M: Measurable

A: Attainable

R: Realistic

T: Timely / Tangible         

 __________________________________________________________________________________

Specific:  A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six “W” questions:

*Who: Who is involved?

*What: What do I want to accomplish?

*Where: Identify a location.

*When: Establish a time frame.

*Which: Identify requirements and constraints.

*Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.

EXAMPLE: A general goal would be, “Get in shape.” But a specific goal would say, “Join a health club and workout 3 days a week.”

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Measurable – Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set.

When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.

To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as……

How much? How many?

How will I know when it is accomplished?

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Attainable– When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.

You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.

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Realistic– To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress.

A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were hard labour.

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Timely – A goal should be grounded within a time frame. With no time frame tied to it there’s no sense of urgency. If you want to lose 10 lbs /Kgs , when do you want to lose it by? “Someday” won’t work. But if you anchor it within a timeframe, “by May 1st”, then you’ve set your unconscious mind into motion to begin working on the goal. Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.

T can also stand for Tangible  –  A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing.

When your goal is tangible you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable.

Acknowledgements :

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201104/why-goal-setting-doesnt-work

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The Fear Factor – A short story

 The Fear Factor

 

As Sheila was fighting with the thought of going to the doctor for small thing such as a corn on her feet , it was the thought of her having to go through the surgery to remove it that was freaking her out. Imagine if she would have told somebody of the thoughts that were bruising her mind they would laugh at her, but it was the word surgery that was overwhelming for her. Actually it was after she had gone through six surgeries of which two were major ones the word had developed a negative impact on her. She somehow mustered up the courage to go to the doc anyways, since it was something she was avoiding for past one month and it was giving her so much pain that she was not able to walk properly without pain.

As she was waiting for the doc in the clinic her heart was pounding, what if the doc says he has to do surgery, how would she be able to handle all the responsibilities that lay on her shoulders. It was then that she was asked to come in and the doc told her it was not a corn but internal infection which needs to be operated, it was exactly what she did not want to hear. She felt like her heart is going to sink and so many different questions starting raving her mind especially when the doc said we can do it right away it just takes 10 minutes.

“10 min, now ,oh my God “ thought Sheila 

“ It is just a 10 min laser treatment and no precautions required after that except some antibiotic cream application. You would need four such treatments” said the doc. 

“Oh, OK ” she thought, the word treatment was word that did not frighten her and was much easier to handle. As she lay on the bed for her foot to be treated the fear sprung up again in her mind like a demon but with two pin pricking shots all was over.

 “You can walk home now Sheila “ said the doc. 

That’s it !!! She thought, “Wow, that was quick and everybody else had scared me by saying I have to undergo surgery for this” she told the doc and, he smiled back at her.  

Suddenly all her fear had vanished and she returned home put the antibiotic cream and sat on the couch thinking with a cup of coffee in her hands. 

She started wondering how sometimes some particular words have such an impact on us and how fear of something can take over our lives and block us from living it to the fullest. She thought how life has its own ways of teaching and if we learn from it we would know how to handle it the next time it springs up its head again.

• You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind. – Dale Carnegie  

 

• Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. – Dale Carnegie

 

• Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead. – Jerry Gillies

 Acknowledgements :

Photographer – Andy Newson

Site : http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/Younger_Women_g57-Scared_p983.html

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The Blame Game !!!!

 

The Blame Game

 

 

 

Whenever we point fingers at others most of the fingers point towards us !!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Often I find all of getting stuck in what is called the Blame game which makes us feel better to blame others for the situation that we are in today. There are certain situations which definitely are not in our control and beyond the boundaries of human expectations while there are some in which we blame others for bringing us to that point.

Let us try and analyze that situation in your life.

If you were to imagine a particular situation that you are or were in where you thought it was someone else’s fault and look at the situation again and experience all that went into creating the situation and then, ask yourself :

How is other responsible for the situation that you are in ?

How are you responsible for the situation ?

Only if you could take the responsibility of your thoughts and actions in that situation and ask yourself

What could I have done differently, taking the responsibility of the situation , that could have made a difference ?

Now look at the situation again, what is different in your thoughts ?

You will find that taking responsibility frees us from getting stuck or bound to the person and gives you the freedom to take charge and do something about it.

So don’t get hooked up in the blame game, be responsible and contribute.

Share your experiences with me.

Be Well

Coach Nupur

 

PS : Photographer : Michal Marcol, http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/Gestures_g185-Point_p13133.html

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Stranger / Friend ?

  Stranger / Friend ?

 

 Sometimes a stranger becomes a good friend rather than our own friends.

 Have you wondered why ?

 Let’s have a look at the situation, how many times do we get back to our friends to ask how they are or how was the day, not so often as life brings in business with it. We devote the time according to what we think is important and necessary to us and in the process sometimes our friends are left behind. In the fast life to sustain the pressure becomes a pressure in itself.

So then what is the alternative ?

Well remember the time you were in school or college or not so busy did you take time out to call your friends or chat with them or meet them ?

 As with the technology now-a-days it is much easier to be in touch with Internet , mails, messengers, Skype and this can be done in split second.

 Where there is will there is a way !!!

 So how about getting back to some of your near and dear ones this week with whatever way that works for you and making them feel special and making them friends again !!!!

 Give it a TRY !!!

Share your experiences with me

 Be Well

Nupur

PS : I acknowledge and thank the strangers who have become great  friends !!! Thank You 🙂

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A Summer Bonanza offer !!!

Hi All,

As summer is here for some and approaching for others it brings in an opportunity to give yourself a break and ponder over things that mean a lot you and you need to accomplish in life. Imagine a time 5 years from now, at that stage looking back on your life what are the things you wish to see accomplished  ?

So here is a Summer Bonanza offer for all as I offer

• 10 % off on Coaching services for a package of three months.
• 15 % off on Coaching Services for a package of  six months
• 20 % off on Coaching Services for a Package of 9 – 12 months.
• 20 % off on Coaching Services as a Retainer for 9 -12 months.

In order to avail this offer please contact me at    https://transformationcoach.wordpress.com/contact/

Please don’t forget to mention the Summer Bonanza offer.

Be Well and Act fast, Action is the only way which would lead you to your Goals.

Coach Nupur

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I have a Dream

I Have A Dream

This is certainly true for me as it is my dream which keeps me moving in that direction.

A dream helps to cope with any situation that comes in life to move forwards making the destination worthwhile.

Do you have a dream ?

Come and share your dream !!!

Be Well

Coach Nupur

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The Leader Within You.

The Leader within You

All of us are born leaders , God gave each one of us a special gift in which we excel and thus it is our moral duty to respect what God has gifted us. The most important thing to do is to search within us the special quality that makes us, that represents us and tells us who we are.

So YOU can always nurture yourself and be the leader of your life, all YOU have to do is to nurture The Leader Within You.

So the how and where do we start doing it ?

YOU can start by defining who YOU are ?

• Writing down your strengths..
• Writing down your weaknesses.
• Writing your goals.
• Checking if these are aligned with your strengths.
• If not then find the missing link.
• Once they are aligned writing what stops You from reaching your goals.
• Acting on the things that stop you.
• Persistently trying to work on them.
• Finally reaching your goals.

Though it seems like a long process and this is where a coach can help you and walk it with you.

Find the leader within you so that you can lead your life with satisfaction of being :

WHO YOU REALLY ARE

Ten Years from now do you want to look back and regret not having done this to fulfill your life ?

If you are already there achieving your dreams and Being the leader you are then I congratulate you and acknowledge you.

Come and share this with me on http://theacknowledgementcorner.wordpress.com/  or else here.

Be Well
Coach Nupur

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Are you a people pleaser ?

People Pleasers are those who often try to please  others by behaving like others want them to be, rather than behaving as they wish to be. These are the people who put others needs before their own and rarely do things for themselves and when they do they feel guilty about it. The reasons for them to do so could be many like :

• Simply fit in
• difficult to say NO
• Fear of rejection or confrontation
• Want to be like by all
• Fear of criticism.

and many others…………………..

Authentic Self : On the contrary Authentic self is a person who is defined by person at its core who knows and understands his beliefs, thoughts, likes, dislikes, decisions and whose public image is aligned with who he is on the inside.

So which category do you belong to ?

How do you feel about it ?

Come and share your experiences with me !!!!!

Coach Nupur

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